shine my way through out of this maze,please.-----<3-----<3-----i need directions.some kind of beam of light to shine me out.everything's falling apart.in my hands.in.my.bloody.hands.no, you don't, you don't know how that feels.to see everybody taking their bows, leaving the stage that everybody once worked so hard for.is that it?no, not yet, but i don't understand.i never did.i've never intended to.personally i myself would want to take a bow too and leave the stage and leave the room and shut the door and let those problems escalate by themselves.but that's too selfish, isn't it?friends, cca....these two things are the biggest headaches in my life.it feels heavy.and i don't want to carry these burdens no more.feel the slightest temptation to take it off and walk away.that's right, i am complaining.complaining is never my forte,but somehow today it seems like it's the only thing that i can talk about.you know that feeling of watching your own loved ones dying away, their lives slowly slipping away?it's what i'm feeling.don't wanna feel this no more.don't wanna think about it.don't wanna talk about itdon't wanna face it no moredon't wanna do this anymore.and a lot of don't wannas i would like to drone on and on with.i'm feeling the worst of the worst.probably because i feel that i've disappointed someone and made her feel like she's chosen the wrong person to do the job.but i can't deny the truth.because i really think she did.and if i don't stop underestimating myself, i think she really will think that way.so i shall stop.but i know someone who can do it, though she has her reasons of not being one now.but think about, she's the perfect being that anyone else can imagine.please,correct me if i am wrong, but i think i really need to shove this reality up my ass and start acting i'm one real leader. yeah, i probably should.----<3for the little girl inside who won't just hide.