if you want it, then you've already got it.
if you found it, it better be what you want.
-----<3-----<3-----
this is what an overlook of perth looks like.
yeah, god damn it, you guys guessed it.
i've been to perth before.
and that was in 2004, when i was still an P5 kid stressing for PSLE.
stupid huh, i know, i don't need reminders :D
you know my passion for flying in aeroplanes, that feeling of blood roaring with excitement, pulsing through your veins...
that kind of feeling.
perth, australia. a beautiful, urban city.
being in a western country is certainly different than being in an asian country.
no doubt, the culture is different, the way of life is different.
well, in the first place, i wanted to go.
really badly.
but then after submitting my information.
i actually, actually, sat down and thought about it.
after listing down some reasons, there was an obvious answer already.
first, let me tell you why.
my dad's going to beijing, china for the Olympics.
so he esitmated that he'd need about 5 grand, and also, my sister will be going to taiwan for 18 days.
so imagine the money that we have to fork out?
so if, if i add to the financial burden, things will get worse.
no, i'm not talking about 'how much money i'll lose' that kind of stuff.
it's the value of the trip.
part of it is because of the amount i have to pay for five days, but that's not the main reason why.
thing is, i've already been to perth.
i've already learnt the culture.
i've already...known that place.
and so, what for wasting 1300 bucks on a country that i have been before?
it's not worth it.
and with that same amount of money, i can go to japan, osaka, for NINE DAYS.
isn;t that more worth it?
if you were me, you would most probably go to japan because it's much cheaper, and there's more things for you to do there.
so. three main reasons are my dad, my sis and my experience in perth.
been there, done with there.
i talked to my mother and father.
and they didn't speak a word.
instead they just smiled and nodded their heads.
and i wasn't feeling sad at all.
i was, in fact, feeling happy.
because i'm afraid that if i go for this trip, i'd miss the chance of going to other countries, such as russia, italy, germany, netherlands. or whatever the school arranges for us.
we'll never know what will be planned for us.
and i don't want to waste my money on a place that i've been before.
and more opportunities are coming.
and this opportunity, i'm not taking it, because the same one came across me, i grabbed it, enjoyed it like they were the best days of my life.
i'm letting that opportunity go, for someone else to grab it.
well.
hope you understand my points.
because if suddenly there's a trip to russia for elective history students, i'd go stark mad. :D
i'm sure edlyn will have the same reaction :D
-----<3
finally, i can breathe.
like, really,really breathe.
we won't break, we won't die.it's just a matter how we commit, er, suicide?-----<3-----<3-----it feels good to blog. after when a recent spate of unfortunate events has er, happened in my studies.i am lagging, and i need, need, need to desperately pull up my socks and mug the hell out of my ass.whatever. :Dbut, that's not my motive here.a moment ago huang hua was sending me the pictures and videos of parade.oh parade parade, how i miss you so.still, this is not my motive here.so here's a question posed to you: what is the artist trying to say in the source? (in my case, it's this picture)think about this.it really applies to my situation now.-----<3this isn't my capability.i know i can do better. much much, better.
i don't wanna say my goodbyes.-----<3-----<3-----letting go of something is just easy.just open your heart, and let it out.yeah, sounds easy huh?but it's difficult. (for such an emotional person like me)i'm very dedicated to what i do.and if i have to let go of it, it'll take months for me.for instance, campcraft.i'm slightly on the path of 'over it', not yet finishing, but somewhere.campcraft...damn. that brings me really good memories.and of course, all good things have to come to an end.like happiness can't be forever.and things can't be too good to be true forever.that's how life works, i hate to say this, but you have to keep on moving.forward, backward, whatever, you'll have to let go of whatever you're holding on, and find something new to hold on to.yes, you know what i'm talking about. maybe you don't. but just listen, and hear me out.i hate saying goodbyes.that kind of scenarios, for example in the mrt.you stand next to this person, and you know something.you'll never see this person again in your life. it's just that brief moment, and boom, that's it. gone.vanished.disappeared.and all those sirs, we're never going to see them again, (which is so sad because they are really incredible people. really really incredible people that i truly admire and look up to.)and all those crazy friends i made, it may not be the last time, but things aren't going to stay the same again.like falling in with the poles and the sirs telling us to hurry up in their croaky voices, and the familiar bam bam, bam bam, bam,bam,bam (bang!)i know, i appreciate that i am actually in the real thing, i really do. i am really grateful for that.but it's still so depressing to know that you'll never do this again.never, never, ever again.-----<3like running through those dark halls, bundling up poles,assembling in our meeting points,changing in the bus.i will miss this.
where's our fairytale?-----<3-----<3-----unshaky breath.sweaty palms.bloody lips.black tears.grey rain.broken hearts.twisted memories.devastating moments.boiling anger.emotions freezing.soul dying.hope fading.disappointment growing.trust fading.love extinct.burning tears.stabbed wounds.terrifying sobs.seriously, do you think i can find my soul back?-----<3he cried, and said," i've got nothing to say to all of you."and then he turned his back onto us.just like that.