just how we used to be.-----<3-----<3-----i shouldn't have done that, said that.Np was... not that bad.i get feelings attached rather quickly.and yes, i'm already attached to my squad already.and they're like a part of you. i anticipate each training everyday, i really do.it just excites me that i'm teaching the squad something new, and make a difference in their training.but surprise, surprise, i've just found out that i'm demoralising them instead.i don't know, but i felt like... a little taken aback.i thought everything i did was for their good,and i thought it would benefit them...and never did i think that they would actually feel like this.oh jeez, i never meant them to feel that way.and i shouldn't have cried.pearllyn maam told me that being an NCO or worse still, the head, i have to be er, mentally and emotionally strong.but that's the weak in me you see.i get hurt and soft-hearted easily.and i'm not even supposed to unleash any emotion in front of them.blah. but it all doesn't really matter now, does it?well, let's just take it that it was a lesson that was meant to be.and i'm...really really sorry, it's not your fault, but it sounds like i haven't found the way to handle and bring out the full potential of you all yet.and thanks zakiah for waiting with me while talking to her.i really didn't expect you to be there with me,but i really do appreciate it.seems like you're the one truly there for me whenever i needed somebody.thank you so much for making me confirm one thing: you're a real true, splendid, marvellous friend.rock on girl! i'd be behind you forever.and of course, my my dearest meiyi and geraldine.thanks for that little surprise, haha.i didn't know how to deal with it.but i really gotta thank you two.been with me the toughest patch of my np life, and i really owe it to you people.and ZAZZIE!thanks for coming over to comfort me.i never thought how happy i was to see you!and of course, how can i forget my dearest AOIC.thanks for the refreshing H2O you offered me. :Dmaybe next time i shall have more bad moods and you can offer me more of your drinks :Dand, tada! the super powerful nco! syahirah!thanks for taking the squad, of course, zakiah too, i wouldn't even have the courage to carry on without you two.thank you for taking the squad with me, just, thank you really much.and of course! yvelyn and daphne!thank you for making me laugh like some hyena with those goofy 'i-love-you' acts of yours!really, i did cheer up, you guys are really great! :Dand edlyn, try not to think about your a maths okay?i know that grades are important, but sometimes...they aren't everything. and yes, i'm trying to believe in that too. thank you chan yen for sharing the tablet with me for the olympic videos! and of course, you are really intelligent! always get A1 for everything! :D thanks for the guidance in maths and everything else. you're really superb. :Dof course, sophy!!! you've been a real great partner, i have to admit. sitting without you makes me feel lonely and misses you a lot. (hahhahhaha) yeah, you're a really great person! thanks for sharing your breakfast with me even though i've already eaten mine! :D and thanks for lending me everything when i needed it, and thanks for clearing my doubts when i had one.i owe part of my results to you dudette! :D thank you very much! arigato!thanks liana!!!!!! ahhahaha, for playing that song on the piano. seeing you so determined to get that song right even though you have no piano background made me feel motivated and encouraged to hang on my thinning passion for piano. you made me feel like music's the greatest thing ever, so thanks a lot! you're good at piano, really! :Dand ANN! :D the super lame ex-co! :D hahahahhaha i loved sharing the mee siam with you! and of course, your spastics comments and your high pitched 'No!' made me quite awake during lessons sometimes :D you work really great with kana :D KANAAAAA! :D hahahhahahha, 'you're damn retarded luh' as quoted by nisa. :D hhhahhaha, apparently your 'shhhhhhhh keep quiet' attempts to quieten the class doesn't really work, but i overheard mdm yeoh praising you for your emaths results! i know you can do it! :Dnisa!!!!! TOM DALEYYYYY AND FABIEN HAMBUECHEN AND SHAWN JOHNSONNNNN.WOOOOOOOO. my olympics crazed partnerrrr :D thanks for the campcraft days! you were one of the main reasons why i wanted to come down! :D i bet you never knew that.and there's mainly the friends i made over NPCC, i really don't know what to say, but you all helped me out a lot in sorting my life out. you know who you are, so, i don't have to say it. :D but thanks again, especially yy. you did lots for me, it's time i repay you back though :Dand for those that i missed out, your existence play a great part in my life, in some way or another.and my jie jie! thank you thank you for tolerating my never ending flow of physics questions and biology questions and helping me in almost every subject! :D i love you! :D and you're really a cool sister who loves to poke me in the stomach :/ hahahhaha, but rock on man, continue to be the first in physics and econs!MAMA AND PAPAAAA :D thank you thank you for giving birth to me into this beautiful world! and thank you for bringing me up even though i caused many problems for all of you. thank you for not giving up on me, and thank you for supporting my decisions and respecting my own private needs. thank you for disciplining me and moulding me into what and who i am today!thank you myself for looking at the bright side of life. thank you myself for hanging on.you have no idea how blessed i feel now, to have such wondrous friends out there and a great superb family whom i love very much.-----<3confessions of an amended heart. <3