i have no idea what is happening to me right now.-----<3-----<3-----i guess i can't do HR in futurebecause i've just realised that i'm such a friggin emo shit.not exactly, but it seems like every little emotion you feel, i feel it a thousand times stronger.well, i took the sec two squad today.with my dearest, intelligent, chio, stubborn-headed (hahah, kidding :D ) o'kana.it turned out pretty good.but it was far from what i expected.(kana, don't worry, you did really great okay, and i really mean it :) )this problem, it's about me.i don't know how to say it, but it's been affecting me since today.the squad i knew seemed to be a little downcast todaylike, i'm suspecting whether it was the separation of their squad, that's why.and, thing is, i know exactly how they feel, afterall, i had been through this, and needless to say, i was jealous of those squadmates who were able to practise rifle drills.and i felt it was totally unfair then.but now, it's like, they seem so...lost?and i'm beginning to wonder if this method of teaching is working for them.and i'm feeling very bothered by the fact that i am very worried about them.well, i'm afraid they'll develop some form of hatred for NP, like they'll stop coming for it. that's what i fear.the fear that they won't want to stand on their on feet again and work hard towards the goal.wait, don't take this to heart, because as far as i know, i am crapping about things that i don't know what i'm even talking about.is this called worried or paranoid?or am i just too sensitive to things?or am i just....too engrossed in my own world to actually not notice what is happening around me?or am i going to become like a total Tsar, an autocrat who listens to nobody but myself?whatever, man.i am so going to settle this, myself.-----<3and i'll just tell myself to keep runnin'and stop caring about the heartbreak.